I don’t want to write this, but I have a schedule to stick to and I feel like I probably can’t write anything else today. I think you should skip this one. Nothing in here is new, other people have expressed these ideas better than I will, I’m not presenting sources, and I’m not doing research. What I’m doing here is ranting. Unshaven, tinfoil hat, hurling profanity on the street corner, stark-raving mad, ranting. I’ve had an anxious week. I’m feeling pretty angry- because Jesus fucking Christ how can you be sane and not be angry right now.
Bit of background about me (all good rants require background). On September 11th, 2001 I was pretending to be sick so I could skip middle school and stay home watching the Discovery channel (where I would lean more than by going to school if I’m being honest). Something happened on that day- you can look it up yourself- and instead of learning about sharks or whatever I spent the day awakening to the very real world of global politics. Ever since, I have been unable to look away as political discourse in North America has devolved into the clownish bullshit it is today. After this last week, I feel I have to say something- even if it’s an unhinged rant that echoes noiselessly into cyberspace. Again, don’t read this if you don’t want too. I’m writing for me this week (probably every week tbh.)
First some ground rules (because all the best rants have ground rules).
Rule one: I’m not going to talk about anything specific. Part because I don’t want to provide sources and part because specifics don’t matter, this is about the broad trends in western culture that have led us to this point. It’s my blog and it’s going to be about my feelings. I feel my feelings are supported by facts- but it’s also pretty fucking clear that everyone feels this way- even when they are alarmingly wrong.
Rule Two: no words that end in “ism”. Despite the fact that I can certainly think of some “isms” that apply, I’m not going to use them. Decades of polarization and purposeful propaganda means that, outside academic circles (and maybe not even there), nobody can agree on what these “ism” words mean anymore. I’m also not going mention the political spectrum- because it’s fucking worthless. If you think the governing of a complex society can be boiled down onto a single line- you’ve been duped. The political spectrum is a tool used to divide people, to bucket people’s opinions so we don’t have to listen to them. This “Extreme-Port” vs. “Ultra-Starboard” framing is a tactic to hide the truth of the moment: Are we going to unite, look to each other with compassion, and build better societies? Or are we going to let the continent be taken over by a handful of wealthy fuckheads.
And they are fuckheads. In North America today money is power and greed is good. In this “land of opportunity” we’ve made social mobility a foundational myth. When we look at the great Dragons sitting atop their hoards cognitive dissonance kicks in hard. We project virtue onto them, like they amassed their fortunes through sheer force of will- by being smarter, more innovative, and possessing a forethought akin to divine, which they use to distribute capital in pursuit of endless growth. We ignore the skulls of the peasants who built the hoard: Dragons deserve their piles of gold.
But Dragons don’t deserve shit. Maybe they got where they are by being morally bankrupt enough to harm others in pursuit of personal power. Or maybe they are true believers who are fully committed to their own myth. They sniff their own farts, believe they smell great actually- and are now they are crop-dusting nations with their stank and asking us to be thankful for it. Whatever is wrong with them- they need us more than we need them. We don’t have to put up with it.
Does that last paragraph sound extreme? Maybe like a certain kind of “ism” that advocates for a classless society? Are you about to tell me it’s an unworkable system that stifles the human spirit? Maybe you are right. I’ll concede that social hierarchies might be essential in complex societies. Every team needs a leader and the desire to better our position in the world may foster creativity that wouldn’t exist otherwise. To some degree this is likely true. At the same time maybe you can concede that there should be some limits on the power any one person can hold. I don’t know where those limits should go but maybe we can agree to draw the line somewhere between modest power and infinite fucking power.
And that’s another thing. The shitheads rocketing towards infinity right now are not virtuous. They are not role models. They are not leaders. They are bullies. In my life I’ve both been bullied and been a bully (which I deeply regret)- pulling someone down to build yourself up is an ancient tactic. It works, but it is wrong- full stop.
I want to live in a more compassionate world. A world that recognizes the nuance and complexity of the human condition. I want a world where people can accept that there is no single valid way to be human. Where we welcome and accept people’s differences. Where we can have reasonable debate about policy. Where the goal of politicians is to unite rather than divide. Where we put trust in hard-won expertise. Where we elevate real leaders with vision and without ego. And where I can stop watching this slow-motion trainwreck and focus on living my life and making cool stuff.
I’m a realist (some might say pessimist), but I do believe people are generally good. That we can work together to achieve great things, that we can look at the systems and incentives that have brought us to this moment and think of ways to make them better. That we can manifest a brighter and more humane future.
But it is also clear to me that this is not the future these goddamn Dragons want. Let’s not let them win.
If you, like me, are anxious about this- good. We aren’t crazy, what’s happening in North America (maybe globally?) is not politics as usual. It’s the culmination of a slow burn that’s been going on longer than I’ve been alive. You shouldn’t feel comfortable about it.
I don’t have great advice, I’m just some scatterbrain on the internet (a pretty lucky one too, I have a comfortable life- at least for now). Hang in there, take care of yourself- and if you can do that, take care of others. Don’t let anyone convince you that your kindness is weakness. It’s not. Altruism and compassion have always been humanity’s greatest strengths. Love is a healing force, and we need healing now.
Did you read all the way to the end? Why? I asked you not too. Whatever. I’ll be back to blogging about game dev again next week. I just needed to vent today.
Rant over. I’ll be normal next week I swear (or at least as normal as I ever am.) Good luck out there.
SQYD.studio 
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